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The Relationship Lab

With Carly & Matt

At The Relationship Lab, we explore what makes relationships tick—and what gets in the way. This is a space where we break down the emotional science behind love, connection, conflict, and repair.

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Why You're Arguing About the Dishes (And What It's Really About)

Discover why arguing about the dishes is rarely about chores and more about deeper emotional needs. Grounded in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and attachment science, this post explores how everyday conflicts reveal feelings of disconnection and insecurity. Learn a simple 3-step exercise to transform arguments into opportunities for connection, making your relationship stronger and safer. Perfect for couples seeking healing and growth.

Jul 33 min read

Navigating the Dance of Connection: How Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy Can Help

Ever feel like you're arguing about small stuff—like the dishes—but it turns into something bigger? You're not alone. These moments often reflect deeper emotional needs and attachment patterns. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy helps partners move from conflict to connection by addressing the root of disconnection. Through couples counselling or family counselling, you can learn to turn toward each other and build a safer, more secure bond.

Jul 33 min read

Time-Outs Aren’t Just for Kids: 6 Ways to Calm Conflict in Your Relationship

Arguments can escalate fast—but it’s often our nervous system, not just the issue at hand, driving the heat. In couples counselling and family therapy, we teach the power of a well-timed adult time-out. It’s not avoidance—it’s a tool for emotional safety. From creating a shared signal to reconnecting after a break, these six tips can help you and your partner pause the conflict, calm your system, and come back together with care.

Jul 13 min read

Carly Goodfellow & Matt Turner of Vida Relationships

About Us

Written by clinic directors and expert relationship therapists Carly Goodfellow and Matt Turner, our blog blends clinical wisdom with real-world tools to help you navigate communication struggles and emotional wounds to the daily work of staying connected.

Expect raw truths, healing strategies, and the kind of clarity that leads to real change. Whether you're navigating conflict, healing from trauma, or just trying to love better—you're in the right lab.